Entry #2

Boiled eggs make a great weapon/ replacement for lost bouncy ball. Managed to complete nocturnal mission into enemy territory 3 nights in a row now. Was taken to an event last night called "fireworks". Pretended not to be amused, but I couldn't help dancing to the live band. Also was allowed access to a wonderful substance known only as "pop its". Today mom is going to work on my "baby book". Though I've tried destroying it many a time, she persists with these attempts to glorify my younger, more feeble days. Will report back on that later.

Entry #1

coffee seems to make it more alert...therefore all effort must be made to awaken at dawn. Missions completed before consumption of said beverage seem to yield most productive results. Today's progress: wrote coded message on fish tank with crayon, freed stuffed animals from their bin, rode small ATV into subject A's foot (seemingly indestructible), flooded bathroom by way of sink stopped up with tissues (stuffed animals desperately in need of hydration), spread kix cereal around the floor (stuffed animals need food too). Refused all "breakfast" food and attempted eating delicious brown crayon before subject A got out of the shower. Tried to regain access to desired crayon by massively increasing volume and wielding a golf club. Attempt failed.